Self-Control
Prepare
Children for Life and Its Duties.--Well
may the mother inquire with deep anxiety, as she looks upon the children given
to her care, What is the great aim and object of their education? Is it to fit
them for life and its duties, to qualify them to take an honorable position in
the world, to do good, to benefit their fellow-beings, to gain eventually the
reward of the righteous? If so, then the first lesson to be taught them is
self-control; for no undisciplined, headstrong person can hope for success in
this world or reward in the next. {CG
91.1}
Train the
Child to Yield.--The little ones,
before they are a year old, hear and understand what is spoken in reference to
themselves, and know to what extent they are to be indulged. Mothers, you
should train your children to yield to your wishes. This point must be gained
if you would hold the control over your children, and preserve your dignity as
a mother. Your children quickly learn just what you expect of them, they know
when their will conquers yours, and will make the most of their victory. {CG 91.2}
It is the veriest cruelty to allow wrong habits
to be developed, to give the law into the hands of the child and let him
rule. {CG 91.3}
Do Not
Gratify Selfish Wishes.--If
parents are not careful, they will treat their children in such a way as will
lead the children to demand attention and privileges that will call for the
parents to deprive themselves in order to indulge their little ones. The
children will call upon the parents to do things for them, to gratify their
wishes, and the parents will concede to their wishes, regardless of the fact
that it is inculcating selfishness in their children. But in doing this work
parents are wronging their children, and will find out afterwards how difficult
a thing it is to counteract the influence of the education of the first few
years in a child's life. Children need to learn early that they cannot be
gratified when selfishness prompts their wishes. {CG 91.4}
Give Nothing
for Which Children Cry.--One
precious lesson which the mother will need to repeat again and again is that
the child is not to rule; he is not the master, but her will and her wishes are
to be supreme. Thus she is teaching them self-control. Give them nothing for
which they cry, even if your tender heart desires ever so much to do this; for
if they gain the victory once by crying they will expect to do it again. The
second time the battle will be more vehement.
{CG 92.1}
Never Permit
Display of Angry Passions.--Among the
first tasks of the mother is the restraining of passion in her little ones.
Children should not be allowed to manifest anger; they should not be permitted
to throw themselves upon the floor, striking and crying because something has
been denied them which was not for their best good. I have been distressed as I
have seen how many parents indulge their children in the display of angry
passions. Mothers seem to look upon these outbursts of anger as something that
must be endured, and appear indifferent to the child's behavior. But if an evil
is permitted once, it will be repeated, and its repetition will result in
habit, and so the child's character will receive an evil mold. {CG 92.2}
When to
Rebuke the Evil Spirit.--I have
often seen the little one throw itself and scream if its will was crossed in
any way. This is the time to rebuke the evil spirit. The enemy will try to
control the minds of our children, but shall we allow him to mold them
according to his will? These little ones cannot discern what spirit is
influencing them, and it is the duty of parents to exercise judgment and
discretion for them. Their habits must be carefully watched. Evil tendencies
are to be restrained, and the mind stimulated in favor of the right. The child
should be encouraged in every effort to govern itself. {CG 93.1}
Begin With
the "Songs of Bethlehem."--Mothers
should educate their babies in their arms after correct principles and habits.
They should not allow them to pound their heads on the floor. . . . Let the
mothers educate them in their infancy. Commence with the songs of Bethlehem.
These soft tunes will have a quieting influence. Sing them these subdued tunes
in regard to Christ and His love. {CG
93.2}
No Wavering
or Indecision.--Perverse temper
should be checked in the child as soon as possible; for the longer this duty is
delayed, the more difficult it is to accomplish. Children of quick, passionate
disposition need the special care of their parents. They should be dealt with
in a particularly kind but firm manner; there should be no wavering or
indecision on the part of the parents in their case. The traits of character
which would naturally check the growth of their peculiar faults should be
carefully nourished and strengthened. Indulgence of the child of passionate and
perverse disposition will result in his ruin. His faults will strengthen with
his years, retard the development of his mind, and overbalance all the good and
noble traits of his character. {CG 93.3}
An Example
of Parental Self-control Is Vital.--
Some parents have not control over themselves. They do not control their own
morbid appetites or their passionate temper; therefore they cannot educate
their children in regard to the denial of their appetite, and teach them
self-control. {CG 94.1}
If parents desire to teach their children
self-control, they must first form the habit themselves. The scolding and
faultfinding of parents encourages a hasty, passionate temper in their
children. {CG 94.2}
Weary Not in Well-doing.--Parents are too fond
of ease and pleasure to do the work appointed them of God in their home life.
We should not see the terrible state of evil that exists among the youth of
today if they had been properly trained at home. If parents would take up their
God-given work and would teach self-restraint, self-denial, and self-control to
their children, both by precept and example, they would find that while they were
seeking to do their duty, so as to meet the approval of God, they would be
learning precious lessons in the school of Christ. They would be learning
patience, forbearance, love, and meekness; and these are the very lessons that
they must teach to their children. {CG
94.3}
After the moral sensibilities of the parents are
aroused, and they take up their neglected work with renewed energy, they should
not become discouraged or allow themselves to be hindered in the work. Too many
become weary in well-doing. When they find that it requires taxing effort, and
constant self-control, and increased grace, as well as knowledge, to meet the
unexpected emergencies that arise, they become disheartened, and give up the
struggle, and let the enemy of souls have his own way. Day after day, month
after month, year after year, the work is to go on, till the character of your
child is formed, and the habits established in the right way. You should not
give up and leave your families to drift along in a loose, ungoverned
manner. {CG 94.4}
Never Lose
Control of Yourselves.--Never
should we lose control of ourselves. Let us ever keep before us the perfect
Pattern. It is a sin to speak impatiently and fretfully or to feel angry--even
though we do not speak. We are to walk worthy, giving a right representation of
Christ. The speaking of an angry word is like flint striking flint: it at once
kindles wrathful feelings. {CG 95.1}
Never be like a chestnut bur. In the home do not
allow yourself to use harsh, rasping words. You should invite the heavenly
Guest to come into your home, at the same time making it possible for Him and
the heavenly angels to abide with you. You should receive the righteousness of
Christ, the sanctification of the Spirit of God, the beauty of holiness, that
you may reveal to those around you the Light of life. {CG 95.2}
"He that is slow to anger," says the
wise man, "is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit, than
he that taketh a city." The man or woman who preserves the balance of the
mind when tempted to indulge passion stands higher in the sight of God and
heavenly angels than the most renowned general that ever led an army to battle
and to victory. Said a celebrated emperor when on his dying bed, "Among
all my conquests there is but one which affords me any consolation now, and
that is the conquest I have gained over my own turbulent temper." Alexander
and Caesar found it easier to subdue a world than to subdue themselves. After
conquering nation after nation, they fell--one of them "the victim of
intemperance, the other of mad ambition."
{CG 95.3}
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